Difference Beetween Attraction and Love
We have seen that love or affectivity is the only valid motivation which can make sexuality becomes meaningful and satisfying to human beings. There seems to be a lot of misunderstanding with regard to the meaning of the reality we refer to as "love" . Some people believe that love is an instinct that comes and goes arbitrarily and that human beings do not have any control over it. Some people believe that only at the begging of marital life, love is going to present between the husband and wife. All these people are certainly confused about the reality of love.
They seen to be confused between two realities that may look alike, but are not the same. These two realities are 'liking' and 'loving'.
To 'like' a person means to feel attracted to that person - to feel at home , relaxed with that person. When you like a person you are attracted to tyhat person. Thos is an instinctive reaction.
In our nervous system. we can identify ine ststem as the 'autonomic nervous system' . The autonomic nervous ststen is in charge of the involunatary activities in our body, lie the heartbeatk functioning of the endocrine system,refkexes, etc. We have no control over these activities. They are under the control of the autonomic nervous system . The conclusion is that we have no control over how much we like a persin. for how long we like thet person. how intensely we like him/her ,etc. It is lide our heart beat or gastric secretions.
On the otherhand , 'looving' is under the control of the other nervous system- the central nervous system (CNS) . The CNS enables us to be in charge of voluntary activities in our life. It does not mean that when ewe live someone , we love that peroson with our nervous system. We love that person with our bod and soul. But that activity we describe as 'love' is tge fruit of a decision we take with the help of our CNS.
Liking is often refrred ti , especially in common parlance , as 'love'. Technically it is not corrrect. Liking is always conditional. I like a person because of certain conditions that are verified in that person.Likin g can be described as 'conditional love'. The fact , however , is that conditional love is always a love of the onditions. When the conditions change, the 'love' also will evaporate.
Love is , strictly soeaking, not of condition , but of the person. It can ve descrived as unconditional. The only preoccupation in real love os the wel being, happponess, etc. of the other person.
The highest stage of liking is called 'falling -in -love' . The highest stage of loving is described as 'staying -in-love'.For fallling in love , we si not have to work hard. It happens. It is the function of the CNS . On the otherhand , for staying in love , one has to work reall hard all through one's life.
Family is not based o falling i love. Falling in love may be the beginning o fthe emergence of family.Staying in love os what forms the foundation of any family So often marriages take place as a result of a boy and girl, (a man and a woman ) falling in love with each other. The truth,. however,is that falling in love is not an abiding, long lasting foundation for family life. It comes and goes. The abiding basis for living tigether should be love , which refers to the other to the decision each one takes to consider the happiness, security and well-being of the other to be of the other to be as important , or more important to oneself than that of one's own happiness and so on.
They seen to be confused between two realities that may look alike, but are not the same. These two realities are 'liking' and 'loving'.
To 'like' a person means to feel attracted to that person - to feel at home , relaxed with that person. When you like a person you are attracted to tyhat person. Thos is an instinctive reaction.
In our nervous system. we can identify ine ststem as the 'autonomic nervous system' . The autonomic nervous ststen is in charge of the involunatary activities in our body, lie the heartbeatk functioning of the endocrine system,refkexes, etc. We have no control over these activities. They are under the control of the autonomic nervous system . The conclusion is that we have no control over how much we like a persin. for how long we like thet person. how intensely we like him/her ,etc. It is lide our heart beat or gastric secretions.
On the otherhand , 'looving' is under the control of the other nervous system- the central nervous system (CNS) . The CNS enables us to be in charge of voluntary activities in our life. It does not mean that when ewe live someone , we love that peroson with our nervous system. We love that person with our bod and soul. But that activity we describe as 'love' is tge fruit of a decision we take with the help of our CNS.
Liking is often refrred ti , especially in common parlance , as 'love'. Technically it is not corrrect. Liking is always conditional. I like a person because of certain conditions that are verified in that person.Likin g can be described as 'conditional love'. The fact , however , is that conditional love is always a love of the onditions. When the conditions change, the 'love' also will evaporate.
Love is , strictly soeaking, not of condition , but of the person. It can ve descrived as unconditional. The only preoccupation in real love os the wel being, happponess, etc. of the other person.
The highest stage of liking is called 'falling -in -love' . The highest stage of loving is described as 'staying -in-love'.For fallling in love , we si not have to work hard. It happens. It is the function of the CNS . On the otherhand , for staying in love , one has to work reall hard all through one's life.
Family is not based o falling i love. Falling in love may be the beginning o fthe emergence of family.Staying in love os what forms the foundation of any family So often marriages take place as a result of a boy and girl, (a man and a woman ) falling in love with each other. The truth,. however,is that falling in love is not an abiding, long lasting foundation for family life. It comes and goes. The abiding basis for living tigether should be love , which refers to the other to the decision each one takes to consider the happiness, security and well-being of the other to be of the other to be as important , or more important to oneself than that of one's own happiness and so on.
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